It’s The Little Things

My boyfriend and I have been together for going on three months now. We’ve had our good times, times that made me want to kick his ass to the curb , and times that we’ve had to team up against outside forces.

And I swear that during those times that I wanted to kick him to curb, he was just testing me to see how far he could push me before I went off on him. And it was during those times that we would reach a turning point in our relationship. It was during those times that some kind of milestone was reached, that we would have a real heart-to-heart conversation or we would take another positive step forward in our relationship.

Many would say that we’re moving too fast and under any other circumstance, I would tend to agree, but we also have a 30 year history together. We already loved each other before we became involved and now we’ve manifested that love into a relationship.

It’s the little things he does for me that make me love him more and more. He doesn’t have a lot of money and he can’t afford to provide me with the lifestyle that I’ve become accustomed to living. But he shows me his love in the attention he lavishes on me, in making sure that my immediate needs are taken care of, in the quality time he spends with me, and in making sure that I’m safe/alright.

We vacationed together last week and during that time, I realized how sensitive he was to changes in my spirit. Within seconds, he always knew when something was not right with me, whether it was hunger, weariness, illness, or annoyance. And while there was nothing he could do about my annoyance (it wasn’t directed at him), he would seek food for me, or a place to rest, or just comfort me.

Words cannot express how much I appreciate him and my goal is to never take him for granted and to continue to show him how much I love him everyday. We both have the same goals where our relationship is concerned. We’ve gone from hiding in bathrooms together at the tender age of 5, to having each others’ backs as kids, to flirting as teenagers, to our grown up love. And if this is truly meant to be, we will have an awesome story to tell our grandkids.

Signing off,
The Coquette

Another Blast From My Past

While facebooking, I came across a status update from an ex-boyfriend. And somehow I realize that my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend share the exact same birthdate. I mean they are probably only separated by minutes or hours.

Anyways…that’s not the point. I messaged my ex and told him of this little factoid and he responded with the sweetest thing ever. He told me that his wife reminded him of me and that he had promised himself a long time ago that if he had ever found another like me, he wouldn’t let her go. That made my day. Of course I told him how lucky he was to have her and to tell her he loves her everyday.

Background Info: He cheated on me when we were together over 10 years ago and the two times we tried to get back together, it just never worked out. We discovered that we were better off as friends. About 6 years ago, he did apologize for cheating on me and he told me that was his biggest regret where we were concerned. He was the first of many to break my heart, but unlike some from my past, we were able to move past that to remain friends.

There are some who matter and some who don’t.

Hello There

I know I fell off for a while and last you heard, I was being treated for depression.

Well a lot has been going on over the last 3 months. I’ve been dating, traveling, having fun, discovering new talents, and been real busy selling my artful creations (I sell my photography). Whew!!!

And now, I’m in a relationship. I never saw this one coming and it happened pretty quickly. I ran into an old friend and we’ve been kicking it ever since. This is someone that I’ve known all my life. We grew up together, fought each other, had each others’ back, and loved each other. And he is so not the typical person that I date. Totally opposite from anyone I have ever dated. And we are happy.

So that’s it in a nutshell.

TTYL,

The Coquette

What About Your Friends

What about your friends

Will they stand their ground

Will they let you down again

What about your friends

Are they gonna be lowdown

Are they gonna be around

Or will they turn their backs on you

-TLC

Karma

It’s hard not to become bitter when you realize that the people you call “friend” aren’t who they say they are. For me, as I come to terms with the way things are now, with how the chips have fallen, it’s an everyday struggle. Especially learning who these people really are. And though we may have laughed and enjoyed each other’s company in the past and though we may have done nice things for each other in the past, when the chips came down, they showed their true natures.

Selfish.
Self-centered.
Unforgiving.
Unsupportive.
Manipulative.
Attention Seeking.

But I take comfort in knowing that there’s a phenomenon called Karma, who comes around and bites people in the ass. They will get what’s coming to them.

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Romans 12:19.

And Lord knows that I want to get my revenge, blow it all out of the water. But I will leave it up to the Lord to handle.

Based on my observations, I predict it will happen sooner rather than later.

Thank You

Dear Friend,

Thank you for being a good friend to me up until my breakdown in February. I enjoyed laughing and chatting with you, our lunches, and going out on excursions. And thank you for the lesson you have taught me in friendships and forgiveness since my breakdown.

We always questioned why it was we became such good friends in the first place. I now know that it was to teach us about friendships. I now know that I needed to learn what a friend is NOT and you needed to learn what a friend IS. I believe you also needed to learn a lesson in forgiving. Holding grudges and punishing those you claim to care about is toxic and I see now why you are facing the troubles you face today.

Real friends support each other through the good times and bad. Real friends care about each other’s well-being. Real friends will accept your faults. Real friends forgive each other 100%. Real friends don’t crucify their friends for making a mistake that has been owned up to and apologized profusedly for.

There’s nothing like going through the hardest moment of your life to see who your real friends are. I had to learn that not everyone who says they are your friend really mean it. I had to learn that people will say and do anything they have to in order to get what they want. I had to learn that people are not as accepting of your faults as you think they are. I had to learn that some people will desert you the moment you don’t live up to their standards.

I wish things didn’t come to this. I never in a million years saw this coming. You were someone I thought would always be there one way or another. I never thought you would desert me.

When people tried to tell me that we weren’t the friends I thought we were, that you claimed we were, I defended you and our friendship. Even after you deserted me, I kept defending our friendship. But now I see.

I hope that one day you will look back on this and gain some insight.

Take care of yourself. I wish you well. And if you find yourself in a situation or needing to talk then know that I will be there for you, supporting you as a true friend does. I was and am your friend. I still care about you and your well-being. But I will no longer be your punching bag.

Sincerely,

The Coquette

*Singing* Awkwardddddddd….

So there’s this guy that I’ve been going out with from time to time over the last few months. You could call them dates…dinner, some activity, etc. Well, 3 days in a row this week we made plans to meet for lunch and 3 days in a row he bailed on me, so he asked me out last night. The plan was to meet up at a bar near to his home and then go out somewhere afterwards. Cool.

BUT…what he didn’t tell me was that we were meeting up with some of his friends and we were going out with them. Not a problem.

EXCEPT…he’s with another girl o_O. And she made it painfully obvious that they were together. There was no mistaking that: the cuddling, the whispering, the possessive hand on his arm whenever he turned to talk to me, the hand on his thigh (pretty close to his crotch)…

Yeah, talk about an awkward evening, but I got through it. The only thing that disappoints me is that after all of our conversations about relationships and dating, he made it “clear” that he wasn’t seeing anyone seriously, but there they were.

White guys. Black guys. Hispanic guys. They’re all the same.

PS…all of his friends are all athletes and that’s all they talked about and everyone was a couple except me. more awkwarder…